Here I am, all my pages are blank. I've been strong and "good" all my life, and I've used a tremendous amount of energy in keeping this a secret.

Until now. I'm a user at the incest-center in Sør-Trøndelag. I have carried a secret. So ugly that no one could ever find out. I've felt guilt and shame. I've tried to deny the past.

It took me 28 years to acknowledge the fact that I was sexually abused. I've understood how important it is that someone talks about this, once and for all. Women and men use years to get to the center against incest. The people who work there know which buttons to press. A lot of people uses a lot of effort, time and money to go to all kinds of treatment without really getting to the subject their pains evolve around.

I knew I was raped, but I always tried to minimize it. My body showed obvious signals that I overlooked, and found other explanations to. I thought that if I wanted to go to the center against incest, I had to be sexually abused by my father or mother, or that you had to be related to the rapist.

I know better now. Now I know that it could be a brother, sister, uncle, aunt, brother in-law, a friend of the family, a neighbour..

I've decided to use some of the powers I've used to hide, to help others coming forward. Not on the front page of some large newspaper, but to talk to their parents, siblings, friends, teachers and nurses.

If I had gotten the help I needed several years ago, I would have been saved for a lot of pain!



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